The Roads I Had Taken
Here I am, in the middle of the night, sitting in my tinny room in Istanbul. While writing these texts, I am trying to remember exactly my ways, steps by steps bringing me to one of the most wonderful places in the world. When I looked back, I realized how far I was walking in my entire life, crossing the oceans, passing the mountains and walking on thousand miles of road.
Again, when I looked back to my early years, I still cannot believe my fate that I’ve been walking that far. Coming from middle income and working class family, I never lacked of anything. We always had food on the table, thanks God. My parents were never late to pay my school fee. I got at least one new clothe on Eid celebration (holy day of Muslims). But, traveling was something luxury in our family. Even traveling by plane seemed impossible and hard to do.
Can I say that my first flight ever was taken two years after I graduated from university? While I got the job out of town, and I had to leave my home for the very first time. I still remember clearly that day. I was crying, leaving my Mom and all lovely memories behind. That road was not easy, physically and mentally. That was the first time I was away from family, no one was there but me. But still, I had to go.
Nonetheless, these difficult roads had leaded me into other incredible roads to pass on. It was like a new door, opened to a new world, to a new destination. I kept walking and never looked back. It’s more one decade now, and I still keep going, collecting pieces of my puzzles and finding the meaning of my life, here and there. Through the skies, rivers, valleys, ocean, mountains. Move from one country to another. From the most developed countries to the counties where war is still going on. From Indonesian tropical beach to Saharan desert. From Arabian nights to African music. From the warm Asia to the cold Europe. And still, there are a lot of questions waiting for the answers to be found.
For some people, my life seems a fairy tale. Living a life. Getting my dream. And now, I’m living in my dream. Not once, my friends told me “I’m so jealous of you. You stole my dream”. But still, I feel like something missing.
Did I make myself useful enough to others? Did I give contribution to humanity? Did I give some times of my life thinking about child labors working for the mining companies in order to make our mobile phones while passing the jungle of Congo? Did I dedicate myself enough for refugee children as I always wanted? Did I find what I’m looking for? And what I’m looking for? Power? Glory? Money? Love? Or someone to love and to be loved?
I still don’t get the answer yet. So far I know, I’m still walking. And I won’t stop until I get the answers. Even though I have to take another million roads ahead.
For more roads, kindly visit the Daily Post.